Monday, April 13, 2009

Home Remedies



AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

10 comments:

74WIXYgrad said...

And remember if you get an ice cube stuck in your throat all you need to do is drink some boiling water.

Pat Jenkins said...

great stuff karen. i have another one. are you a man who is a sex addict? marry an ugly woman! it worked for me!!... i can just picture the headline in the paper tomorrow: man shot dead over comment left on blog page.....

Karen said...

First of all, a sex addict you've NEVER been, second of all I would make you a nice dinner by having you hold the veggies while I cut your fingers off, opps, I mean the veggies, add a laxative to your plate then put duct tape over your mouth and, well, let's just say the "other end" then sit back and enjoy the show! LOL!

Busy Bee Suz said...

EVERY ONE of those made me laugh!!!
Thanks for the funnies. Suz.

Grandma J said...

Hilarious! I need that book!

Pat Jenkins said...

i think i would prefer just being shot karen!

Jen said...

These are hilarious. I imagine you learned these by being married to patfixitall. ha.

namaste said...

so funny, karen! what a great list!

;)

Cassie said...

I was chuckling like a mad scientist here! Very funny. Also, Pat's and your comments to each other really got me laughing.I must remember to show this to my sweetie so he'll get a belly laugh too!! #5 is REALLY dangerous!!

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