Thursday, February 26, 2009

Dear Mom

How's this for a letter to good ole' Mom!

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, your son Paul

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: Adolescence is perhaps nature's way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest.


Lutra said...

I knew that old joke, but still laugh at it XDD

Pat Jenkins said...

i am glad lutra let me in on the fact it was a joke. cause if you had come up with this on your own karen i was going to let you know you have one sick mind!!.. he he!

Lutra said...

Just in case some of you linked to my blog and didn't understand anything, I decided that since today I am publishing my posts in two languages, being english the second one.


melanie said...


Busy Bee Suz said...

I love that...wish I had it many years ago for my Dad. :)

Jen said...

I was getting a little nervous there reading this. ha.

namaste said...

i was getting a little worried too. LOL! good one.


Frasypoo said...

You are funny!!!!